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civet_coffee
14 September 2009 @ 12:45 pm

Well, who knew I would start writing again here some day, but I guess I need an outlet.  Those who talk to me frequently know I had a little bit of a relapse involving stress, anxiety, panick, and my heart going freaky on me, which landed me in the hospital for a few days, and really walloped me with a hell of a panick disorder.  I've somehow skirted around becoming completely Agoraphobic, but a number of other problems have come from this nonsense.  It's hell. And it's not going away easily.


The reason for writing again is this:  It provides me an outlet to really exam the things that I know are truly bothering me, and maybe, with knifelike accuracy, identify these things, and then pursue some sort of resolution to them either with friends and family, or a shrink (I enjoy psychologists, as, even without the obvious benefit of being well-knowing in stress relief techniques, provide very interesting partners for psychological debate, something I enjoy immensely).

But then, how do I find the things that now bother me most and really expose them?

Well, I'm going to dwell a little bit backwards to when all of this started to happen again.   Two things really stand out.

After I was released from the hospital, a day or two later, I had a full out flat-panick attack, my heart didn't get involved this time, but the thoughts of loneliness and isolation really came pressing in and for the first time in a while I almost cried.  In retrospect, I should have, I do realize how many of my emotions I bottle up and try to keep in check these days, but now compared to when I was a kid, I realize I was MUCH more emotionally free as a kid, and probably (healthfully) didnt choke on my emotions like I do now, so I mean to change this when I get a chance.

It's okay to have emotions, I keep telling myself.

The other is that I didn't realize it before, but, I really really tell myself I hate myself a lot!  And rather than throttling that thought and swatting it down with thoughts of how awesome I am, I'd just brush it off as an annoyance, but it would still stick around in the back of my psyche, etching away my confidence and eroding my brains ability to handle stress.  Need to stop that.  Really.  I deserve to live, breath, and be happy just like anyone else, I'm also a hard worker and valuable guy to have here at work, I'm told repeatedly.  I must do my best.

The other one is the ever constant stress of loneliness on the parental front.  I told my mom flat out when this was happening I felt like I didn't have a family anymore, and I had no one to fall back on when times became dire and desperate.  This constant line of threat has been assaulting my mind for 26 years straight, and its not going away.  She has opened up a little, and even came to one heart stress test and echo cardiogram to look for reasons behind the Preventricular Contractions and arrythmia, and for a brief moment I was able to relax about that too.

Another source of problem, however, is my grandmother, and also my father.  At some point, I need to call him, and try to bridge that gap.  Somehow, but I dont know if it will work.  The guy has never wanted to talk to me, or try to be a family, I was always a disgrace in everything I did, to him, and was constantly told things like I was being written out of the will, or that I was on my own now, because he had a new family.  Those little bits of stress never go away either.  Why am I not entitled the love of my own mother and father?  Why do I have to struggle this hard, just to be acknowledged?  I suppose you can see how I got the way I am, I bet.

There's other stuff too, but thats why I intend to write.  Writing it down means I can read it.  reading it means I can digest it.  digesting it means, maybe I can come up with better and more healthier ways to make peace on this stuff.  Who knows.  But I do know that having panick attacks and heart problems once every 3 years is going to put a serious bender on my ability to make peace, find someone to love, and settle down to have a family.  I don't want that to happen, you know?  I want kids some day, a loving wife, a peaceful hardworking life touched nicely on the corners with loving affection, kids I can help raise and teach, and the beginnings of exploring the vast world I live in, but have seen so little of. Stuff like that.

Wish me luck, with all the gods in the universe.  I know nothings physically wrong with my body, but to be so subsconsciously stressed as to put myself in a panic loop is rediculous.  I must find a peaceful and calming solution to this, so that I can move along with life, and continue to work towards happiness.

 
 
civet_coffee
23 February 2009 @ 11:37 pm
Well, I often wonder why I keep checking here or updating, so I'm probably going to stop soon.  Of the people who even update semi regularly, its sparse enough now that I'm not even remembering to check (which excludes Ironychan...who posts a LOT, but I don't know that she has ever ever replied to any of my comments, and I've only met her a few times while visiting calgary, so I'm assuming I am the deadwaste equivelant to that lass :P)

So, stripping out any sort of emotional weabooism about how people don't read, its more like, everyones moved on with their lives, and I'm sort of being slow about moving away from the usual "sit around, chat, browse friends blogs" Etc mode.  I use to do it to keep track of my friends in the frozen north, but its been a long time since any but one or two have really contributed (exceptions granted, Benn).

So I'm probably just going to call it quites at this blog.

There will be info about me at --> http://www.demonpop.com

and also on a blog I will be launching soon that is nonsensical at best over at http://catgirls.dontexist.org:8008

Aside that, I'm always lurking around #Twokinds chatroom, or on #Tktranslator on Rizon.
 
 
civet_coffee
28 January 2009 @ 12:35 am

I finally figured out what that mysterious asian coin was I had sitting around, now that I can actually sort of read a little japanese, I figured out that the text was written right to left, and worked out...


Front side:
大日本 (Greater Japan)
昭和十七年 (17th year of Showa)

Back side:
十銭 (10 sen*)

* 1/100th of an en (yen)

I'm always a little tickled when I can take my growing knowledge of japanese to read a random trinket, or comments in user manuals, or what have you.  Really, its sort of nerdy, but still fascinating.

This coin is 100% aluminum, so I have a little factoid for you.  Aluminum use to be considered a precious metal, more valuable than gold, silver, or platinum.  It's said that Napoleon III (once upon a time) threw a banquet where his most reputable guests were given aluminum utensils with which to dine, while his less important guests were expected to use gold tableware.

Who knew?  According to Wikipedia, commercial quantities of aluminum have only really been manufacturered within the last 100 years.

At any rate, now I know what this coin is, and even though its unlikely I will find a monetary use for this sen piece, I've considered finding a way to incorporate it into the necklace I'm repairing, as a good luck charm to bring good fortune.

Have a look!
 


 


 
 
civet_coffee
22 January 2009 @ 10:40 pm

Made some super awesome curry the other day.  Thought I'd share the prep, even though I lack the recipe of what all I used in exact amounts at the time.

For the Sautee
--------------------
1 bag medium uncooked shrimp
1/8 c butter
1 tsp Dashi no moto Granules (Shipjack tuna stock granules, I use this in place of fish sauce, which I am allergic to for some reason)
Garlic salt
Onion Powder
Cinnamon (no sweetener!)

Melt the butter in a pan over medium heat, shell the shrimp and begin sautee, dust with garlic salt, onion powder, and cinnamon...enough to taste it, not sweeten it too much, and just enough garlic salt just so that its savory, not sweet.

Remove from heat when pink and tender, try not to overcook.

For the Curry sauce:
----------------------------

1 can of coconut milk
1 half (to 1 full) can of Maeri brand Yellow Curry Paste **Adjust to taste, I usually use about 3/4 a can of the stuff, its a small can, about the size of a can of tuna...GREAT curry paste tho
1 can of Reese's Palm hearts, chopped into bitesize bits (great acidity, texture is similar to surimi, but a vegetable! I'm in love with these things)
1 bunch of green onion, washed, cut into largish bite size bits (trust me, with enough of the sauce in these, the big bites taste fantastic)
2 sliced and diced Annaheim chile peppers (lose the seeds, you'll get plenty of heat from the pepper meat and curry paste).


Simmer this all together with the shrimp after its been sauteed.  Serve on Jasmine rice.

I can not describe how good this was.  I think the Maeri curry paste is owed in no small part to that, since its one of the better non red/green currys I can find, and really made this dish PERFECT.

Bon Appetite.

 
 
civet_coffee
21 January 2009 @ 11:19 pm

Fruity Loops got a Moe injection.  And I can't stop staring at Fruity-tan doing the Zitabata dance.



You cannot deny the cute. YOU CANNOT SIR. YOU CANNOT.

 
 
civet_coffee
07 January 2009 @ 12:13 pm

Proof that I'm not a total goon.  I'd like to point out a fundamental scientific fallacy.

Now, pay close attention to this argument.

It is stated, that, according to Einsteins theory of Relativity, it is simply impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and this is also widely postulated by the scientific community by and large based upon his theories.

Now, maybe someone has beat me to the punch, but I also know that any object in the universe, when in motion, requires some measure of force to act upon it in order to slow, stop, or reverse its trajectory - be it gravity, or the disruptive mass of air particles, a physical objects like a hand stopping a ball, what have you.

Why this law of physics is important to disproving this particular fallacy:

 

The pulling gravitational force of the average black hole is so strong, that it will not allow light to escape.  Now, operating on the assumpting that light moves at 299,792,458 meters per second, some force will have to counter-act this amount of energy and speed with an equal force at minimum to 'stop' the light.   However, its also been put out there that light doesn't simply 'stop' when it comes into contact with a black holes gravitational force, it is actually bent into the black hole, and stopped from exiting again completely, meaning the light cannot achieve an escape velocity - it simply does not have enough speed, and potential energy, to overcome the force of gravity itself in the black hole, leading me to believe that some object or force entering the black hole does in fact have a speed and direction, and that it does supercede the speed of light, even if it only effects a fundamental particle rather than an object specifically.

Another way this fallacy could work, is that the light particles and all of its energy is simply destroyed by the counteractive force, but this would discredit another important rule of physics: That energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

So which is it?  Einsteins Theory of Relativity, or the law of Conversation of Energy?

By some force acting upon, and then reversing the trajectory of light, it has to be some particle, material, or force, capable of moving faster than the speed of light, purely, and completely.

Or the force is so strong, that if violates the rule of energy conservation, and completely destroys the light at a particle level.

Either concept is particularly difficult to wrap ones mind around, but I find it interesting.  I'm sure some scientist out there could crunch the numbers, I only think based on operative rules, and counteroperative rules, so maybe I'm wrong, or have simply missed a fact of physics I don't personally understand.

Either way, I'm intrigued by my own idea.  Either light is destroyed, or like clockwork, to move something faster than light, we simply have to take a closer look at a looming insatiable black-hole without dying.

Thats the tough part though, its an unobservable-intrigue, much like trying to use light to see whats happening on a quantum scale - since it directly effects the sample, except in this case - how do you observe something that is designed to be a matter trash-compactor in the vacuum of space when even getting 'a little' close to it will effectually destroy you and anything you would use to observe it.

Some things, I think, will never be known, as life, and death, and life again, will come much sooner.  And that is one reason, we as men, are not gods.

 

 
 
civet_coffee
04 January 2009 @ 03:42 am
Haha, a friend of mine from england earns insult of the day with "Rub off, ya groppy arsehole!"

I'm not really sure what this means, and it may have something to do with all the absinthe I've quaffed tonight, but I had me a good laugh at that one.  Those limey brits, always come up with amusing new insults.
 
 
civet_coffee
02 January 2009 @ 12:21 am
Almost quietly, 2008 slipped past and opened the door to 2009 - this last year was just another scratch in the cave wall for me, since nothing really good, nor bad, happened.  I met no one of interest, and I did not travel either.

Usually I 'd make a resolution of some sort, but I don't really think I've got any this year.  Nothing is horrible with my life, even if I am a bit lonely, and usually my resolve and gusto to improve my art and get a comic going disolves in a few months, where lack of sleep, tiredness, and the inability to concentrate consume and fluster my artistic self.

Strangely enough, my heads empty this year, and that probably echoes complaints that I seem like a husk of a person.  I said a while ago that I was simply tired, and while I try to be social, I am still just that - extremely tired.

So as we lay 2008 to rest, I have no resolve.  There is no direction in my life that would require a resolution afterall; so I say quite simply - Happy New Year.  May it not suffer such rediculous financial upheaval as we saw this past leap year.
 
 
civet_coffee
29 December 2008 @ 02:06 pm
山での生活は、楽しいに毎日ですよ!
がある場合以外は、スペインの異端審問されています。
誰もそれを期待!

Wot.
 
 
civet_coffee
24 December 2008 @ 01:33 pm


The Last Remnant「ラストレムナント」isn't bad afterall, and I'm not sure why so many people are giving it such shit reviews.  

The only thing I really could complain about was that Square-Enix defaulted to using the Unreal Engine to power the game, as apposed to Squaresofts usual technology; the result is that all of the characters walk as though they have broomsticks lodged in their rectums (no seriously, bad walking animation is BAD).

Aside that, I've found a lot to enjoy about the game - the weapon enhancement system is good, the battle engine is absolutely epic where multi-group based large-scale character battles go.  You can have five "Unions" with up to "Five" characters appiece, where as the Hitpoints, AP, and skills of the unit overall are governed by what types of characters you put into it, and what their overall stats are, with the added "Useless" stat thrown in to tell you the archetype of certain characters (which does seem to effect how they act in battle, or at least it seemed apparent - someone who was statted as 'lazy' behaved differently than one that was statted as 'hardworking' for instance.  For some reason these 'useless stats' matter, keep that in mind when playing, think about how you would fit together a real team of people - see?)

At any rate, with the exception of the poor character animation (seriously, Mr. Digs, you fucking hyperactive mechanical pedo bear, here's looking at you) the rest of the game is beautiful - on my Jasper Xbox, tho - it takes the UE (unreal engine) a moment to load all of the procedural textures, but its playable while its loading - thats not ideal, it might be wise to recommend having a Hard Disk equipped Xbox for this game, though I haven't seen that it uses the disk for a whole lot (unlike, say, Eternal Sonata, which bogs up your hard disk with random shit pretty rapidly). 

Pros:
- New Battle Engine Concept for Scale-Battles - surprisingly easy to learn, and enjoyable - Mimics a turn-based active-wait battle system for up to 25 characters in 5 unions
- Square's usual blend of oddball creatures, some of which remind me of the Gobi from Breath of Fire
- Lots of hidden stuff, and a surprising amount of strategy when putting together Unions - how you play effects how characters react to you in the game
- Pretteh.
- The weapon customization engine, overworld, and town map system, all seem like they were borrowed from Nippon Ichi Software's games, like Ar Tonelico, or Mana Khemia.  Not a bad point, but sort of unexpected for square, as much so as using the Unreal Engine to power their graphics.

Cons:
- Poor Character animation
- Soundtrack is nothing stellar, actually - its almost unnoticeable - no songs really stick in the mind, its background noise - I can't recall a single tune that has played while I was playing this game.
- Poor story development at times, far too much at others, and the occasional lack of direction entirely
- Enix

I'd probably still throw it 4.0 stars out of 5.0 if I had to.  It was well polished for a game that seems like it may have been rushed to market, and it has the surprising addition of being fun at times, so I can't hate it.  But is it just me or has Squaresoft really gotten lazy with its games since Enix got involved?  Whether Enix bought Square or not, it doesn't seem that its been good for the fantasy gaming giant in the least.  The quality has gone steadily downhill.

Well, I guess we wait and see, Square's long awaited HD Final Fantasy title didn't make it to market to Winter, so I'm supposing they're polishing it up nicely, but of the two games FF13 and FF13: Versus - the one I want most is Versus.  Which has been put on hiatus until FF13 is completed.

 

Hopefully square delivers.

 
 
civet_coffee


Ugh. I can't take shit lately.  Non-stop migraines, my grandma has a stroke, my arts suffering due to essential tremors, work sucks dick because of a couple of angry drunk ingrates, and I'm short on cash, and haven't heard back on approval for the condo yet.

My brain might just explode.

 
 
civet_coffee
15 December 2008 @ 11:00 pm
Amazingly, something happened earlier that seemed to throw salt in old wounds.  Not that the person responsible cares, but its strange to be ignored like that; told they would only talk to me in a place that wasn't public, away from people we know mutually.  I felt sort of...hmm.  Well, how would any of you feel in that situation?  I was treated a bit like the unpopular kid at school, which is impressive, since I was the one who introduced this person to the same people she was trying to hide our conversations from. 

It hurt, at any rate - not that anyone closely observes my feelings, and why should they, yeah?  At my age, its probably juvenile to complain so I won't.  But oh what I wouldn't trade for someone who gave a damn, you know?

I sort of wish I gave a damn too, but lately, I'm only getting by because I can let shit slide off my back.  And even that I'm not doing a particularly good job of.  Anyhow, this particular instance is a person who has burnt me time and time again, maybe its high time I simply said to fuck-off and be done with it.
 
 
civet_coffee
14 December 2008 @ 04:09 am


I think the label hikikomori probably applies to me, whether I want it to or not, presently I'm a shut in, I go out maybe once every couple of weeks, with the exception of work, and usually to visit a buddy and his family to hang out, watch movies or eat, then I return to the solitude of my home, and don't go out again except for food or drink.

All the while, most of my socializing is on the internet now, smattered with working on art, watching anime, reading manga, or playing games.

I don't seem to care much about what humanity around me is doing, and it doesn't seem to care about me. 

Perfectly fine by me at this point, neither of us were getting much from the other anyhow.

 
 
civet_coffee

Sometimes I think I'm nuts.

Other times I know it to be a fact!

 

I am working on finalizing the paperwork for that studio Condo down at the base of Mt. Werner.  It's 'quaint', if I had to use an objective word, but still around 500 sq. ft., the footprint and design reminds me a lot of japanese efficiency studios, which - being the horrible japanfan I am, I have really no problem with.  I don't like large open spaces, I have the opposite of claustrophobia it seems *googles* Agoraphobia, really?  Sounds familiar, at least I'm not a total mental case about it - but I hate living in large drafty buildings.  Being confined in small spaces reminds me that its okay to go outside once in a while.

The problem is more likely to be the $165,000 asking price.  $349.57 per sq. ft. - sadly, mortgaged, this is still cheaper than rent anywhere nearby, including all the way out in Hayden where I live presently.  The idea  is to be closer to work, closer to ski-town, closer to my mom, and closer to shit to do (for a change, yeah?)

So let's hope all goes well - and I'll own a little piece of a mountain paradise.

The last thing to do is figure out how to get an awd car so I can go to the hotsprings whenever I want, and I will be a happy camper.  Alternative to the open air hotsprings at Strawberry Park, I can still go to the hotsprings at the fitness center down town (these are more or less like the hot springs up at Banff - not Radium mind you - I can't remember the name of them, I went with Jo/Deez/Dianna/Pete/Chelsea/etc.....hrrrrrg.  Well whatever).

Which reminds me!

I fucking miss you guys ;_;

But - if everything works out, I may have money to travel again by the time Stampede Rolls around...maybe I can come see everyone?

We'll see how finances pan out!  Cheers!
 

 
 
civet_coffee
04 December 2008 @ 10:57 pm

You know what I think?

 

The universe would be lonely without us.  It's the only thing that lives infinitely and cannot die.  We humans at least have the benefit of dying, forgetting all we knew, and starting all over again with a blank slate, not only that, but since the universe is ever expanding, maybe the universe made it so we ever expand - every time we create a new human, it brings a new spirit, to be recycled.  Always doing something interesting, always doing something new.  Sometimes its the same old show, since time repeats, they say, but as we grow, and new spirits come to be, the variety of what we can do, will always change, and the universe can always watch.

I just know it would be hard to exist, and never die, if nothing ever knew you did.   Maybe the universe is like that.  One giant, thinking, cloud of existence, that got bored one day, and decided to have some company.

 
 
civet_coffee
26 November 2008 @ 09:17 am

Bleh.  It was bound to be one of those days.  I got up, stumbling sleepily into the bathroom.  I remember rubbing my eyes and then staring blankly in the mirror.  A Bright silver gray hair was sitting there mocking me, blunting the idea that I'm getting older very little.

It was quite impressive though, so I stuck it in my book of memories for now.  I should make sure I use a little glue or something to hold it in there.

 

Taking another look, I seem to have a few of them.  Really, I wonder if I will be an early white?  My grandpa apparently was mostly white by the time he was in his mid to late 30s, if I remember correctly.

At least I've still got my good looks.





Haha seriously, stop laughing.

 
 
civet_coffee
24 November 2008 @ 11:42 am
I fell for one of the biggest legal scams ever, and the company responsible is QWEST Communications.

I originally handpicked two basic services from qwest.  a $14.99 basic phone line, and Light Internet rated to 1.5 Mbps - which is plenty, in my opinion.

About 6 or 7 months ago, I got a cold call from QWEST saying I could bundle up and receive some better services, and a fixed price for life for only a few dollars more, at $64.68.

And then, in September, my bill had gone up to $74.10

And then it went up to $79.80

And then I realized I had a contract, for two years suddenly, on a price for life that has increased three times, without explanation.  When I called qwest, I was told I was receiving two discounts, neither of which applied anymore, but was never informed of these time-limited prices to begin with, nor is it indicated in my contract. The result?  My so called "Price for Life" for services that have actually proven to be inferior, has gone up over $20 a month, in a time when its already difficult to receive vital things like food and heat?

Fuck you QWEST

I called them today and told them to roll back my 'super happy fun package of rape', which they did, but cannot get out of the contract without paying $200+ dollars.

Result?  My costs are down for now, but supposedly QWEST can raise or change them any time they want, despite the contract, because they can't cancel it, and its not the original contractual agreement.  Funny part of this?  QWEST are the persons responsible for breech of contract, by 'adjusting' a contractually locked service cost multiple time outside of the guidelines of their own service contract.

Fuckers.  Do not use QWEST if you can avoid it, they treat their consumers like shit.  We use them here at work, and chances are I'm going to look for ways to do away with that entirely.  The less I have to deal with an underhanded corporation like them, the happier I am.

Caveat emptor! Cogito ergo nom!
 
 
civet_coffee

Well crap, it is already halloween isn't it.  Man I suck at holidays, time goes too fast and there's never enough money to have fun anyhow, so it doesn't look like I'll be dressing up this year either.  Fail.

I was asked if I wanted to go to the little haunted house in craig, which seems neat, but I feel huge now, and people jumping out trying to scare me doesn't even really get a chuckle at this point, but we'll see.

 

My life is boring as usual so there's nothing to update here.  My house is clean though, for a change, because my roomate moved out.  I'm starting to get an idea of what a worthless piece this guy was.  The house has stayed mostly clean (except a couple of dishes I still haven't gotten too), the energy bill has already gone down by almost 1000 kw/H (what the HELL was he doing at night?), and my shit has stopped disappearing and getting broken.  Huzzah. 

I hadn't thought about the power being lower until now, but hopefully that will free up a little extra money.  I've also decided that the Front Door to my apartment, along with the older window in my bedroom, are huge heat leakers, which annoys me, I'll chat with the landlord when I get a chance.

Hmm, back to my original thoughts about All Hollow's eve, it dawns on me how many demons and ghosts are purely human invention, used to drive people to religion, scare young people, or keep people away from places that others don't want them to go.  Maybe I'm not superstitious enough, even though some of my favorite things are angels and demons (of all varieties, particularly western and japanese).

It's honestly too bad they don't exist.  I think humanity is getting fat and complacent as an organism; having a natural predator like a demon probably wouldn't hurt.  Yet its more likely micro-organisms that will do us all in.  How boring.

Then again, Oyashiro-sama is awesome.  (/end higurashi reference).

まあ、いいか。ハロウィンはハロウィンと僕は楽しいがしたいね。


 
 
civet_coffee
15 October 2008 @ 03:57 pm

So I'm sitting in the coffee shop right now, chuckling at a passingly interesting day.  For instance, I found out my doctor use to Joust, literally - shielf and lance joust. On horseback.  So we had a short discussion about the whole thing overall.  Right?  

I'm waiting on my meds to be filled, and pondering that for the first time ever I'm going to be living alone, whether I'm 'just barely getting by' or not, is irrelevant, this is the first time I will be living wholely by myself, in my own place, owning my own car.  It's both liberating and frightening (I wrote Joanna about my 'woes' haha, she gets these emails from me all the time, Maybe I'm taking advantage of her inability to tell people to shove off and not emo at her...hehehehehe...ohwell, I needed to write, so I did).

Frightening because its quite something else to be involuntarily steeped in your own quiet space, liberating because of the whole "I can do whatever the shit I want to" thing, etc.

Which reminds me ,I need to get off my ass and go get the snow tires.  They're called Triangle TR777's winter snow tires...which are, cool!  They have little Triforces on them.  Zelda will protect me LOL.

God this coffee is good...and that barista is as cute as the one Dean and I saw in Utah, and not nearly as loli! D:

Haha, good times.
 
 
civet_coffee
13 October 2008 @ 11:50 am

Remember that $700 Billion dollar bailout plan we americans can't afford, you know, the one we were told was designed to save firms that were going under, so that the market wouldn't crash any further?

Yeah.  They're not giving it to the firms that are 'in danger of going under'.  They're giving it to the 'healthy' firms.  Why?  Your guess is as good as mine. 

Who are we 'bailing out' exactly?  The rich, healthy firms?  Why are we bailing out someone that's not in any danger of failing?  Isn't this a bit of a stretch on the implication of 'bail out'.  We just handed America's bloated fat-cat population a cool $700 billion to do whatever they want with, while the individual american suffers, and the ailing housing financiers continue to crash.  Where is all that money going, then?
 

Straight into someones pocket.  Thats the richest fucking scheme I've ever seen in my life.  Fuck this corrupt ass government.  I suppose I should be surpirsed the person in charge of the $700 Billion bailout is someone named "Neel Kashkari".  I can guess middle eastern, which is probably disturbing in its own right, but I'm more humored by the fact his name sounds something like "Cash carry", which is almost ironic, and sounds more like an alias than anything else.

So, fellow americans, bend over and take it - we've been had, again.  Enjoy your new tax hikes.